Even though I was born on April 5, 1983, I have to say that it seems that my life started when I entered the Sisters of Saint Joseph of Nazareth on August 4, 2006. I feel like in the past two years, I’ve learned so much about God, myself, the world and relationships. So to write about the earlier part of my life would seem like writing about the sleep that I was in during my first 23 years of my life.
Many people have asked me what led me to want to be a sister and I have to admit there are many times that I’m not sure what got me here either. The best answer that I’ve been able to give is simply… God. One of the first things that turned me in the direction of self-awareness and wanting a deeper relationship with God and others was the death of my grandma when I was in 7th grade. She was a major part of my growing up because she lived with me, my parents and my brother (who is 6 years older). It has taken me a long time to realize the good that came out of her death and ultimately it is what led me here.
It wasn’t until I went to college that I was able to feel the freedom to be myself and in fact, reinvent myself and many relationships that I was already in. At the end of high school and the beginning of college, I found my creative abilities mostly in writing but a bit in graphic design and art. My interest in technology has always been there but greatly increased while in college because I was able to absorb bits of knowledge from so many friends and acquaintances. To this day I love technology and the newest gadgets and love to "play" and just figure them out. I’m always up to the challenge when it comes to figuring things out, technology or otherwise. My interests led me wanting to develop the art skills in a graphic design major but ended up working more with my writing talents. I graduated with a secondary education degree with a major in English and minor in Psychology. I’ve been able to use these skills and my knowledge of technology to find new outlets for myself and also to build up relationships with others and even God through the journaling, reflection and art.
When I went to college, I wanted to find a church to belong to and Saginaw Valley was the only college in Michigan that didn’t have a student parish. As a result of this search, I was able to find a group of girls that took part in a weekly ecumenical bible study. I think this was the single most influential experience of my life. I not only was able to show the unmasked Jenn without judgment but I learned to love God my own way and develop a deep relationship there. It was there that I learned how close I could be to God, how much I wanted that and really… needed it. I found myself talking and writing to God. Instead of memorized, formal prayers, I found a new voice with God. I found myself through this bible study group. I found confidence within myself, patience with myself and others, and tolerance and even love for those with different faiths. I want to help more people to see God as one who truly has unconditional love and desires to be a part of our everyday lives.
During the summers away from college, I took a summer job at the Parks and Grounds facilities in Sterling Heights, a suburb just north of Detroit. I always loved being outside so this job was a great fit. A few weeks into my first summer there, the crew leader asked me to be on the grass crew. I had never touched a mower in my life but I was up for the challenge. It was a John Deere riding mower and boy was it a challenge… just to go straight! Anyway, I fell in love with God that summer thanks to my mower. God and I were able to spend the whole day together without any interruptions. By the third summer, I had developed a routine. No matter what I was cutting: a soccer field, around a children’s play area, or in an evicted family’s property… I was praying. I would pray for myself, for those that I knew, for those that passed me in the parks, for those that were evicted, for the children that weren’t yet at the park but would be playing on the structures. I would listen to Christian music in the morning until lunch and after lunch I would listen to the non-stop classical music station underneath my earmuffs that protected my ears. Many times, I would just turn off the music and listen to God and was just able to "be" for the first time in my life. To this day, it is my dream to have summers like that again. I crave another long term experience like that so I can focus on myself with God and pray for anyone that comes to mind. I would absolutely love it if were to include the smell of grass again. I wouldn’t even mind if it came with a weed-whip and baseball field gravel in the shins. By the end of those summers, I felt all of that was a small price to pay for all the love and energy I got out of that mower time.
Those major experiences have led me closer and closer to God and I feel as if I’m able to live that out continually as a member in the Congregation of St. Joseph. My relationship with the sisters has seemed to be any extension of all that I started to learn as a kid and through the college years. Even though my community, the Congregation of St. Joseph, is only a year old and still being created, I feel at peace and at ease on the inside because I know that God will enable me to grow and use my creativity within this setting.
Being far away from home in this palm tree covered setting in California, I hope will give me that time that I desire to be closer to God and allow God deep inside myself. I also have a reenergized hope for my life and religious life as a whole as a result of joining these seven other young women on their journey toward loving God and neighbor more fully.
