After spending more than twenty years in the corporate world, I began to sense stirrings of a call to something more. For a long time, I tried to push these feelings aside as not being a call towards religious life. It seemed impossible; I was in my forties, had been married, had a son graduating from college, and after attending public school my entire life, had no formal religious training beyond fifth grade C.C.D.

In my search to put this ridiculous thought behind me, I began to try to give more of myself in the community and parish. Each new ministry brought me places and personal rewards I could not have imagined. But instead of the hope for satisfaction of these yearnings, it seemed to ignite a desire for more. It was as if God was telling me, "This is good but there is still more."

When I could no longer push this call aside, I decided to explore the possibility if only to finally put it aside. Having no contact with any religious congregations, I contacted several on the Internet, hoping to be immediately denied. I, of course, discovered it is possible for women with grown children to enter religious life. As a result, I was encouraged to continue my search still expecting, even still hoping to be turned away at some point.

I learned in order to seriously explore religious life, I needed to first seek an annulment of my marriage that was legally ended twenty years earlier. This seemed to be my last escape clause. I assumed if this was denied, I could once and for all put this idea to sleep. When my marriage was annulled within a few months, I felt a great sense of relief knowing I was now free to pursue a new life. With this new freedom, I was surprised to find more drawn towards religious life.

My discernment involved several religious communities. I became very close with vocation directors and sisters from many communities. All of them played a major role in helping me find not just that I am called towards religious life but that I am called to live that life as a Sister of St. Joseph.

Looking back at this time of discernment, I can now see what a gifted time it was of exploring how God’s plan was revealed at many points through my lifetime. I was also gifted with the grace of allowing other women to help me listen more intently.

It was on a discernment retreat with the Atlantic region Sisters of St. Joseph at The Elizabeth House in Philadelphia, that I heard our charism to love God and neighbor without distinction. I immediately connected. I had been struggling to distinguish between the personal relationships I’d developed with other congregations and where I was meant to fully live my relationship with God. Our charism told me so succinctly what I had always known. My relationship with God and my relationship with my dear neighbor was one in the same. All I knew of God was love and the only way I knew to express that love was to live my life as a reflection of that love.

In my early exploration of religious life, I saw being a mother and a sister as impossibility. I now know for me, they are one in the same. For me the perfect expression of God’s love is the birth of my son. At that moment, I knew what unconditional love was and it was beyond what I could ever know. And somehow in that moment, I recognized that as great as that love was, the love God held for me is even greater. For me to fully live my gospel call, I am called to love as mother and as a Sister of St. Joseph.